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Sign the Market Reform Petition Now!: View it here.
To view the SIA NYSE member firm spreadsheet showing $63 billion in delivery and receipt failures as of Q2, 2006, click here.
Visit the new "SEC/Gary Aguirre Cover-Up" section of this site for a compilation of Mr. Aguirre's efforts to expose the SEC's alleged obstruction of justice and whitewashing of insider trading by some of the biggest names on Wall Street.
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SEC, Washington, DC, Dec. 28. 2006
"Dear John:
John, you have always been important to the commission. Your juice is powerful, like single malt scotch, and your contributions to building the Wall Street we all know and love will always be foremost in our hearts and minds.
But something has changed for us. It's not the insider trading, the collusion, the obstruction of justice, the destruction of emails, the price fixing and racketeering that has us reconsidering our views. We know a playah's gotta play, as 'twere. Eggs need to be broken to make an omelet. Sometimes you need some space to grow and learn and progress.
No, it's more that even after firing the imbecile who felt you should be held accountable to the rule of law intended for the sheep, we keep seeing difficulty ahead for blindly following your lead, and have to decide if this relationship is really the right thing moving forward.
Look, we know you have done and will continue to do a lot for us. Our former colleagues are dragging down 7-figure salaries while tossing cards into hats and flying on private jets to seminars, and don't think that is lost on us. We know you are on our side, the side of God and country and freedom and grandmothers and puppies, not to mention international cartels of predatory hedge funds and banking syndicates. We know you do the lord's work tirelessly, ensuring that the masses don't get too big for their britches, and do things like hold free elections, or have the gumshin to require the royalty in NY to observe the rule of their laws. We know that you make them feel happy, while making all the tough decisions for them, behind the curtain. We know that if they were allowed to build any sort of meaningful wealth they would just squander it foolishly - far better that that money is under your responsible stewardship. Better that they believe they are in control, while they fight over stem cells or abortion or gay marriage. Anything to keep them occupied.
We too want to do our part in this ecosystem, protecting those that run the world from those who merely reside on their rented patch, constantly screeching demands, like colic infants.
But we need to seem to be doing something. We tried lying to congress, lying to the press, lying to investors, ignoring massive fraud, colluding to enable larceny, etc. Those worked for only so long. This is a new year coming up, and it's time for a change.
Therefore, with great regret, we will have to require you to pay some penalties equivalent to .0000000001 cent on every dollar you have made from your sophisticated and righteous, if misunderstood and perhaps technically illegal, activities. We know your sense of humiliation at having to do so, and trust that will serve as a powerful disincentive to those who aren't as far-sighted and virtuous as you and your Wall Street brethren - namely your small expendable competitors, and a few petty crooks we've been watching with amusement for the last decade as they rip grandma blind.
Of course, you won't have to ever admit you did anything "wrong," as we both know how antiquated the quaint notion of right or wrong is in this complicated world. Shades of gray, not black and white, that's the thing.
No, just as in the past, you will have to agree to put this disturbing period behind us all, pay the freight, and move forward to a brighter tomorrow - however be aware that we are vigilantly watching "things" now, which could signal more difficulty down the road - or not. The public has a short attention span, and your control of the media has been masterful in making everything seem like the histrionics of lunatics and kooks.
And have no fear, you won't actually have to pay the fines - they are more symbolic, and our accounting staff can't tell whether you ever paid or not anyway. That isn't the point of all this. The point is to signal to the folks at home that we are not just to be used as Kleenex and tossed aside, an irrelevant and complicit layer of bureaucratic regulatory sheen to an abjectly corrupt system. Tut tut, no siree, we are busy, on the job, and won't let you gang rape the country like drunk mountain men. Anymore. Really. And this time we sort of mean it, in a very sincere yet completely negotiable way. Unless you think we might be all the worse for it if you had to stop right away, in which case we can study the problem (not that there is one, nudge nudge wink wink) for awhile and confirm that we aren't just being hasty, our hormones getting the better of us, so to speak.
So please agree to pay your fines (again, don't worry, when we say pay, we mean it in more of a karmic way than a financial sense), and understand that we are not a doormat to be used by you whenever you need to brush some dung off your boots.
Really.
And if you keep doing the sorts of things which we neither require you to admit or deny guilt for doing, we will really get icky with you, and maybe write a harsh letter chastising you for your misbehavior. Think long and hard about how bad that will make you feel, and realize that this is your chance to change.
Respectfully,
Your milquetoast SEC staff, Suck-up-to-bigwigs Dept."