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David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm...

Location: Blogs Bob O'Brien's Sanity Check Blog    
Posted by:   bobo 3/22/2006 12:00 AM

Well, I am back, after being away from computers for almost a solid week - and I have to admit that it was very, very relaxing. However, the Bunny's important work has fallen behind, and we have to remedy that. So here are some tidbits of stuff that was in my inbox.

First, there was an article written by notorious hedge fund manager David Rocker, on January 10, 2005, in Barron's. Over a year ago, and just a few days into the formal publication of the Reg SHO Threshold list.

In it, he names four companies that he thinks sucks. They are OSTK, TASR, TZOO, and SIRI.

3 of the 4 were SHO list securities - TASR and TZOO were already on the list.

Isn't that something? And there were others, of course - AAII, PPD, KKD, NAVR, the most notable being his acknowledged short position in NFI - which was already on the list (and which just had its short interest published for March, coming in at an unprecedented 11.38 million shares) as well. Wouldn't it be fun to triangulate all his known short positions, and Gradient's bashes, and then see what percentage wind up on the SHO list? Maybe that can be this week's project - anyone? Want to start posting them, or email them to me, and I'll aggregate the results so that we can see what it all means, and look at the statistical likelihood of it all being innocent?

Now, there are likely all sorts of possible reasons and explanations for Mr. Rocker's amazing knack of being short companies that land on the SHO list. Far be it for me to cast stones. Could just be that it is all a coincidence. Could be.

I wonder if the subpoenas will cover his prescient abilities?

-----------------

I re-read Den of Thieves over the little trip, and all I have to say is that if you haven't read it recently, you should. It details exactly how a widespread criminal conspiracy was the endemic operating style for much of Wall Street in the 1980's, and it is striking how many of the same names are still active today. So for all the yuck yucks who speculate that there is no way that a wide-reaching evil could be pervasive on Wall Street, that the notion of a group of networked scumbags working in concert is a paranoid fantasy, I would direct you to Den of Thieves. It's all there, in black and white. And many of the miscreants got away with it. The sentiment then was that the whole street front-ran insider info, that attacks on companies (takeovers) were marvelous trading and profit building opportunities, and that the SEC was too dim and lazy to do anything about it, even though it was blatantly obvious in the trading.

Just change the word takeover for short attack, and there is the miscreant's ball. It happened then, and it is happening now. I was particularly struck by how many of the names are still active on Wall Street. I'm sure they have all changed their ways, and learned their lessons. After all, making $300 million and being forced to pay a fine of $100 million would teach anyone a lesson, right?

The question is really what lesson it taught...

-------------

The Yahoo message boards are apparently losing thousands and thousands of messages. Or rather, the OSTK board is. None of the other boards are. One wonders if that is accidental, or whether it is deliberate? Of course it assumes that nobody downloaded the board on a regular basis in anticipation of lawsuits and the like (assuming that the record is being expunged)...

Odd times these.

--------------

On another note, an article came out in San Diego today that painted Herb Greenberg as a victim, and evil OSTK a bully, for suing Gradient and Rocker Partners. It neglected to mention that a court found it to be a suit that was sound enough to go forward. It also neglected to mention that the affiants are not all embittered ex-employees who were fired. And it further mangles naked short selling, confusing it with legit short selling. And perhaps the most egregious blunder is that it takes the position that the SEC wants a peek at reporters' notes, rather than investigating collusion in a criminal conspiracy. Typical Type B article - waaaaahhhhhh, poor Gradient and Herb, waaaahhhhh, the mean old government is persecuting them.

Maybe it is just me, but that sounds an awful lot like the Milken defense - he was painted as a victim, really a good guy who loved minority children, and puppies, and God, who was being railroaded by the evil man. Of course it ignored that he was charged with 90-something counts of everything from stock manipulation, to tax issues, to pretty much every felony you can think of. He was just a deeply misunderstood fellow, apparently.

Huh.

Just like Herb, and Gradient, and Rocker, and Cohen.

Is it just me, or has nothing really progressed in the last 20 years?

------------

This just in - after reading my piece on the San Diego story which paints Herb and Gradient as victims and OSTK as an evil force, the CEO of Buyins.net sent me the following email - and it speaks for itself:

Reporters are not exposing the "truth" in Naked Short Selling scandal.

After the SEC financial journalist subpoena issue flared up,
BUYINS.NET, a research firm providing purely factual statistical short sale and naked short sale data, made the unusual gesture of sending Overstock.com's short sale time/sale data to nearly 5,800 financial reporters and business editors free of charge.  This "press pass", as it is called in the industry, was designed to put to rest, once and for all,  the debate of whether Overstock.com had been illegally short sold or not, and to what degree this activity had occurred.

21.5% of business reporters in the US accepted the offer and reviewed the data.  That is nearly 1,250 different reporters that took the time to review the following two charts:

http://www.buyins.com/ostk.gif
http://www.buyins.com/ostkshortdata.gif

Reporters like Bruce Bigelow of The San Diego Union Tribune engaged in multiple conversations with BUYINS.NET’s CEO, Tom Ronk, and were educated in detail as to the process and procedures involved with both legal short selling and illegal naked short selling.  They were provided extensive factual data exposing the approximate size of the naked short position in Overstock.com and the exact volume and price of short sales in OSTK for every day back to January 1, 2005.  The result?  Nothing.  Not one mention in Bigelow’s March 19th, 2006 article of the BUYINS.NET stock exchange provided short sale time and sales transactions meticulously identifying every short sale entered in OSTK from January 1, 2005 to present.

The data, the details and the truth about short selling and naked short selling in shares of
Overstock.com has continually been buried by the financial press.  Would the one real reporter in the United States, please stand up, please stand up…..

Copyright ©2006 Bob O'Brien
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Comments (33)
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Clearthinker on 3/22/2006 10:02 AM
Bunny, it is you......things are actually worse than 20 years ago..........
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By DR's worst nightmare on 3/22/2006 10:02 AM
He certainly was psychic on his ability to buy millions in NFI puts right before the WSJ hatchet job, wasn't he Bob?
More time machines??? By Wicked World on 3/23/2006 7:19 AM
Anyone seen this? Know anything about it?

I'm not sure it's legit so...

http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=870498#PaperDownload

Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By jcline on 3/23/2006 7:27 AM
IMMEDIATE EFFECTIVENESS OF PROPOSED RULE CHANGES

The Depository Trust Company filed a proposed rule change (SR-DTC-
2006-01) under Section 19(b)(3)(A) of the Securities Exchange Act. The
proposed rule change, which was effective upon filing, will allow DTC
to disable its Participant Exchange buy-in functionality for the
National Securities Clearing Corporation's Continuous Net Settlement
buy-ins. Publication of the proposal is expected in the Federal
Register during the week of March 20. (Rel. 34-53503)

The filing: http://sec.gov/rules/sro/dtc/34-53503.pdf

"DTC has not solicited or received written comments relating to the proposed rule change. DTC will notify the Commission of any written comments it receives."

Anyone care to grab a pen????
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Granny on 3/23/2006 7:47 AM
Robelita,
You are way more wrong about me but not as wrong as you are about your blame game that started this little tit for tat. You may have the last word and then let's move on to discuss how we might help fix the problems.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By robelita on 3/23/2006 9:17 AM
Granny,

Why is it no one else seemed offended? If you want political correctness you won't find it here.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By bobo on 3/23/2006 9:26 AM
Granny, Robelita, knock off the political BS - it is clutering, and is counter-productive. Thanks in advance.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By dave on 3/23/2006 9:29 AM
jcline, do you know what a participant exchange buy-in functionality is?
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By robelita on 3/23/2006 10:12 AM
Mea culpa.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By rtway1 on 3/22/2006 10:21 AM
The times are different in that these saviors of the little man investor can inflect their diatribes of trading terms and interpetations of financial reports in a language that sounds extremely professional, but the majority of people reading these boards haven,t got a clue what they are saying. The one big giveaway is the amount of venegance and hate they come across with. Anybody with an adequate background brought up in a civil household knows that more is gained with honey than vinegar. I think that last sentence sums it up.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By jcline on 3/22/2006 10:31 AM
FYI for all..... Video--Rodney Young before the SEC Commissioners

http://www.investigatethesec.com/MediaLinks.php
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By mhatmccane on 3/22/2006 10:50 AM
And the real tragedy is the lack of action by the SEC; the subpoenas are still on hold, NYX is still on the SHO list (the list that the "small, in trouble stocks are on), Cramer and Greenturd are still touting themselves as "journalists". and the bomb that Patrick dropped is still a non-event. It never happened.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By bobo on 3/22/2006 10:56 AM
Stay tuned on bombs. The timing of the devices can be problematic, but the explosions typically resonate nonetheless. I do find it amusing that all the Patrick Reg FD violation noise had to be eliminated from the bashers' scripts, though...

Seriously, let's start compiling a list of the known Rocker short positions and compare them to the SHO list, just for giggles. I'll see if I can get the Gradient info. I love a fun project...
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By dawgman... on 3/22/2006 12:02 PM
Something I don't understand.... Why don't the companies who have been damaged by this scam, work together and form a united group to compat Rocker. As a group, they could certainly bring much more attention to the problem. For example, all of the members could simultaniously push his individual congressman and or district attorney for some action such as an investigation into this. And, each member could agree to present this to reporters and to bring it up during presentations. Etc.. Additionally, as a group, they could initiate a massive class action lawsuit. As a group they could more readily get the attention of the FBI, Justice Department and politicians. It just seems to me that bringing a wee bit of organization to the fragmented efforts of all of these companies could quickly accomplish a great deal. Just look at the list of companies on the reg SHO list. KKD, MSO, DAL, NFI, OSTK, TASR etc... Buy now,the CEOs of many of these companies must be frustrated and furious...
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By zimmer on 3/22/2006 12:34 PM
dawgman makes a good point ... shouldn't they also be "obligated" to do such, if they have evidence of someone acting in a manner to manipulate their stock price ..... obligated to the real shareholders, to do something about it?
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By dave on 3/22/2006 12:36 PM
Dawgman - I've been trying to understand. OSTK and NFI investors are here and some of the higher profile ones (CMKX, Rodney's group, etc.), but there are tens of thousands of investors in other SHO stocks that aren't here yet.

I keep with the mantra - we need to keep spreading the word - post a link to this site whenever you get a chance - because it is only when enough investors realize how they are being ripped off that change will happen nearly overnight.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By nabrum on 3/22/2006 12:52 PM
re: CEO of Buyins.net : "The data, the details and the truth about short selling and naked short selling in shares of Overstock.com has continually been buried by the financial press..."

Unfortunately, this is making me believe that just about everything in the Money Changers video is true. They control all the press. Hopefully, blogs will help undo that.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Meeke on 3/22/2006 1:27 PM
BOBO, You might want to read this "FWI"
-----------------------------------------------------
WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court made it harder Tuesday for investors to join forces to file high-stakes fraud lawsuits against companies.

The 8-0 decision blocks state class-action lawsuits by stockholders who contend they were tricked into holding onto declining shares.

Justice John Paul Stevens, writing for the court, said that to rule otherwise would allow "wasteful, duplicative litigation."

The decision does not shut the door to lawsuits filed by individual stockholders, but rather to suits brought on behalf of large groups.

"There had been some upswing in these after the Enron and WorldCom scandals," said Columbia Law School professor John Coffee, who believes it will be too expensive for individual stock owners to pursue such suits.

It was a major victory for Merrill Lynch & Co., which faced a spate of lawsuits prompted in part by New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer's 2002 probe into the investment banking firm's practices.

Spitzer uncovered records showing that Merrill Lynch analysts publicly recommended that investors buy stocks that were described privately as a "disaster" or "dog." Merrill Lynch agreed to a $100 million fine.

Former Merrill Lynch brokers said in the Supreme Court case that the company's overly positive appraisals caused them to give bad advice ? and eventually lose customers and money in their own investments.

The case required the court to consider a 1995 federal law, passed over a presidential veto after Republicans took control of Congress, and a follow-up law approved three years later intended to restrict investor class-action lawsuits.

The Merrill Lynch brokers filed a class-action suit under state law in Oklahoma, but the justices said in Tuesday's decision that Congress intended to prevent their claims and others like them.

"Public companies no longer have to fear the threat of securities class-actions in 50 different states under potentially 50 different sets of laws," said Jay Kasner, a New York attorney who represented Merrill Lynch.

William Federman, the Oklahoma City attorney for the brokers, said Congress had already barred federal court lawsuits claiming that someone was duped into holding onto stocks. Now they can no longer be filed in state courts.

"It sends a signal to investors this court is seeking to continue what Congress started, to protect big business," Federman said.

Nineteen states, led by New York, backed the brokers and urged the justices not to "strip states of essential authority to protect their citizens from fraud in securities transactions." The others were California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin.

Coffee said the ruling shows that the Supreme Court, like Congress, is concerned about class-action lawsuits.

The opinion cited congressional findings of nuisance lawsuits that target "deep-pocket defendants."

"The magnitude of the federal interest in protecting the integrity and efficient operation of the market for nationally traded securities cannot be overstated," Stevens wrote.

Merrill Lynch spokesman Bill Halldin said, "The fact that the court was unanimous confirms what we said from the start: This case had no merit."

The court's ruling did not end part of the lawsuit that involves employee claims of lost income due to Merrill Lynch fraud.

New Justice Samuel Alito did not participate in the case because it was argued before he joined the court.

The case is Merrill Lynch v. Dabit, 04-1371.
------------------------------------------------------
The art of Putting up ROAD BLOCKS for the BIG BOYS PROTECTION. JIM
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Beingsolddowntheriver on 3/22/2006 1:31 PM
This is an unfortunate situation. I think it is much worse than anyone lese believes. I think that each firm only reports their net stock position to the dtcc. It would be possible that a stock could have significant naked shorting without the short position ever being reported much less borrowed.

For example company XYZ has 100 million shares outsatnding. I could see a scenario where there were 300 million longs and 200 million shorts and no short intrest being reported. Can anyone verify that this is not possible under the system the DTCC uses?
*** From Dave Patch.... Things that make one go hmmmmm... *** By InTheKnow on 3/22/2006 5:03 PM
Friends,

Yesterday I described in great detail how shares of Jag Media (JAGH) appear to be moved across accounts to present an impression that sellers are in the market and the market is collapsing. We have watched the events take place together, through these e-mails, that an impenetrable ceiling at $0.40 was created where regardless of buying involvement, the market always brought the stock right back to ground zero. Then, the ceiling moved to $0.35 when JAGH became listed on Reg SHO, then $0.30, and now the new target appears to be $0.25.

As I described the trading between Monday and Tuesday I laid out how all the trade volumes have been matched exactly between the $0.25 and $0.30 trades over recent days. The exact number of shares were being crossed between these two clients or same client holding different accounts. All but 1000 shares had been crossed leading into today as I discussed yesterday.

Today, with a market of $0.25 Bid (NITE, UBS) and $0.36 Offer (UBS) a 1000 share trade was executed at $0.30 with a cross at $0.25 moving the market from a previous day close of $0.37 to $0.25. The 1000 shares I identified yesterday became the exact shares that changed today's entire market. How good is that. A 1000 share trade is executed representing a 32% drop in market cap when the stock closed trading yesterday with 10,000 shares lifting the Offer of $0.37. A predicted $250.00 crossing accounts has re-identified the market.

As the day continued to progress, so did the buyers with as the Bids were raised to highs of $0.31 where there was always a seller there with shares to dump. As large blocks of shares continued to lift the Offers the Offers stayed in place selling everything required until the buyers finally ran out of steam. The market then collapsed back to $0.25 (NITE UBS) by $0.34 (HDSN) which is pretty much where it was previously being controlled. At one point HDSN actually ran out of shares represented by their $0.32 Offer and was forced to back off to $0.47. But within 7 minutes of having nothing to sell they were back down Offering shares at $0.34 and then $0.34. From nothing to another infinite batch of shares in 7 minutes. Sound like Rhino Advisors anybody?

"Sell with unbridled levels of aggression". "Collapse the stock". Those were the phrases identified in the DOJ arrest warrants issued against Thomas and Andreas Badian.

If I may be so bold, I will predict here today that $0.25 will be the new ceiling soon enough. That is where the trades were being crossed and where the shares used to control the stock value are now featured in an account. We saw the pre-arranged trades at $0.40 soon become a ceiling, the pre-arranged trades at $0.36 soon become the ceiling, the prearranged trades at $0.31 and now, if history repeats itself, the pre-arranged trades at $0.25 can only be next.

What will be said if this prediction quickly becomes reality? The goal of this exercise is to drive investors out as who wants to buy a stock that can only go down?


Note: After I made this prediction and was ready to send out this memo, and an hour after the last trade had taken place at $0.32, a large block of shares traded at $0.25. The trading at $0.25 started the day and concluded the day and in between some 80,000 shares traded between $0.30 and $0.34.

For those that purchased today, the loss will only be a future tax write-off for our local communities to absorb.


Dave Patch


<>


Time & Sales

Rec. Time Action Price Volume
3:24:16 PM Trade 0.25 15000
2:22:26 PM Trade 0.32 3200
2:19:48 PM Trade 0.34 1000
1:44:50 PM Trade 0.32 8000
1:44:46 PM Trade 0.31 7000
1:41:58 PM Trade 0.31 3000
12:53:58 PM Trade 0.32 10000
12:53:36 PM Trade 0.3 25000
11:51:30 AM Trade 0.32 12000
11:05:18 AM Trade 0.32 5000
11:05:12 AM Trade 0.32 5000
10:40:28 AM Trade 0.25 1000
10:40:24 AM Trade 0.3 1000






*** WHEN WILL THEY PROTECT THE INVESTOR *** By InTheKnow on 3/22/2006 5:16 PM
When the hell are these people going to do their jobs and protect the individual investors from these crooked naked shorting vultures. We demand protection now!

SETTLE THE GODDAMN TRADES NOW!

Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By gregcable2002 on 3/22/2006 5:39 PM
welcome to the new world order where there is no room for a middle class of citizens.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By mhatmccane on 3/22/2006 8:03 PM
The NYX mb is somewhat amusing - lots of noise about naked shorting. The situation is so damn blatant it's almost comical. How many times can "the dog ate my certificate" be used? I believe the game is now to naked short it till the SEC can not afford to step in. And, BTW, who is it in charge of NYSE that let this get out of control ?
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By robelita on 3/22/2006 10:29 PM
mhat,

The recently departed Richard Grasso who's fighting to keep his $160 mil paycheck is one who comes to mind. It's obvious self-regulation is a license to steal. The DOJ and the SEC need to come down hard on those responsible for this mess. When Uncle Joe and Grandma realize they've been conned out of their savings the backlash against Republicans who have been in charge of government recently will be seen at the polls with a Democratic sweep and a whole new set of regs to drive out the moneychangers. I have to agree though that the efforts to naked short have only increased and they are counting on the fact that if this becomes public knowledge the government will have no choice but to deal with this broke-dick system which will cost more than the war in Iraq. Of course my solution would be to take away every last cent of ill-gotten booty and build new prisons in the Everglades WITHOUT the modern conveniences and send them all there to spend their "golden" years working on chain-gangs with the alligators and mosquitos as the family pets. As Eddie Murphy said to Dan Akroyd "the way to get even with rich folks is to make them poor folks" and add some other punitive measures.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By robelita on 3/22/2006 10:35 PM
Bobo,

Crimmbobo-your evil half-brother needs an induction to Doggerel.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By dave on 3/22/2006 10:35 PM
"the way to get even with rich folks is to make them poor folks"

Well said, remember to post a link to this site at least once per day. When enough investors are on board, change will come quick and funds will transfer from the miscreants wallets into yours.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By bobo on 3/22/2006 10:45 PM
I'm not going to waste my time with the more obviously stupid posts going to doggerel. I'll just delete the name calling ones - faster and easier.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Jimmy the grocer on 3/23/2006 2:12 AM
I didn't know they were taping the Kudlow and Cramer show in the supermarket.

New York Metro - New York Magazine
June 3, 2002 issue of New York Magazine

Buy, Buy, Bad Bear

* By James J. Cramer

"Take David Rocker, the legendary short-seller, who came on Kudlow & Cramer, my CNBC show, the other night and said that the time to short most tech was over and there are bargains to be had."
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Granny on 3/23/2006 2:22 AM
Robelita,
Respect the board and save your political bull$hit agenda for your underlings. We don’t want to hear that one sided crap over here. Both parties made this mess and both parties are needed to clean it up.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By eager on 3/23/2006 3:51 AM
Wonder how many other banks are in the same boat
http://yahoo.reuters.com/stocks/QuoteCompanyNewsArticle.aspx?storyID=urn:newsml:reuters.com:20060323:MTFH87938_2006-03-23_11-37-26_L21706816&symbol=RFXCQ.PK&rpc=44
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By Your Balance Sheet Friend on 3/23/2006 4:30 AM
BAWAG, which remained tight-lipped in public, has told inquiring Austrian regulators the bonds had been used to write down offshore losses "in a balance sheet-friendly way", said a person familiar with the bank's version of the story.
Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By guru11 on 3/23/2006 5:27 AM
The up and coming DISCOVERY in the courts, has 'em shaking...Can You imagine who's gonna be on that witness list??? By the Way, where's CAROL Remond these days?

I can't help think, what a pre court hearing could do to one's stock???

OSTK...22 to 30 all because of one word by the courts....DISCOVERY!


Just wait for it BOYS, EXPOSURE!

regards

Re: David Rocker - Owner of a Time Machine? Clairvoyant? Things that make one go hmmmmm... By robelita on 3/23/2006 6:32 AM
Granny,

Stating a fact anf FYI I've LONG been an Independent. You must be a Ronald Reagan Republican. Loosen up that girdle before your head explodes.

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