Over the last few months, I have been treated to virtually every accusation of impropriety that one could name. I have been called a penny stock scammer, a pathological liar, a scumbag, a con man, crazy, evil, you name it. There are blogs devoted to chronicling what a lowlife I am, and how nobody should listen to a word I write.
It has come to my attention that the bad guys are planning a full frontal assault in order to ruin the Easter Bunny’s reputation, and that they have done deep due diligence on my background, and come up with a few, well, shall we say, compromising factoids, which, if viewed in the wrong light, could look less than positive.
In order to pre-empt the anti-Bunny campaign, I am making full disclosure of a number of relatively trivial “lapses in judgment” I have had in my past, that I feel my reading audience should be aware of. In fact, I have gotten wind of a few articles that are slated to break over the next few weeks, and I figured I should try to disarm them by breaking them here first. I can’t rationalize away much of this, and I will grant that it could look damaging on first blush, but all I can ask is that you keep an open heart, and mind.
To that end, here goes:
Easter Bunny Anti-Semite, Nazi, Confidant to Hitler, and Generally Bad Man
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Easter Bunny Throws Under-Age Teen Nympho Sex, Booze and Drug Fest
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EB Exposed As Grand Dragon, Hate Crime Perpetrator, Generally Bad Man
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EB Mastermind Behind Devil Worship Band, and Generally Bad Man
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Easter Bunny Caught In Gay Bathhouse Scandal, And Generally Bad Man
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EB Part of Saddam’s Secret Inner Circle, Shown Here Planning Gassing of Kurds
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Easter Bunny Minion of Satan, and Generally Bad Man
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Now, I know what you are thinking, and I have to admit that there is no way I can easily explain this away. All I can say is that I’ve had my share of ups and downs, and I’m not proud of everything I’ve done, and that we all make mistakes. Shit happens. If I’ve disappointed anyone, or let you down, I apologize, in the best tradition of politicians and televangelists everywhere. Much of this is just getting caught up in the heat of the moment, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. We are all human, molded from imperfect clay.
Cast not the first stone.
I just wanted you all to hear it from me, and not from my critics. Thank you for your understanding.